SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE

This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High
School( California ) staff voted unanimously to record on their school
telephone answering machine. This is the actual answering machine
message for the school. This came about because they implemented a
policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their
children's absences and missing homework.

The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their
children's failing grades changed to passing grades - even
though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and
did not complete enough schoolwork to pass their classes.

The outgoing message:


Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your
school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff
member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

* To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

* To make excuses for why your child did not do his work- Press 2

* To complain about what we do - Press 3

* To swear at staff members - Press 4

* To ask why you didn't get information that was already
enclosed in your newsletter and several fliers mailed to you - Press 5

* If you want us to raise your child - Press 6

* If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone -Press 7

* To request another teacher, for the third time this year
-Press 8

* To complain about bus transportation - Press 9

* To complain about school lunches - Press 0

* If you realize this is the real world and your child must be
accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework
and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort:
Hang up and have a nice day!

*If you want this in Spanish, you must be in the wrong country.