Subj: Globalization

Finally, here is a definition of globalization

I can understand and to which
I can relate...

Question : What is the truest definition of Globalization?
Answer : Princess Diana's death.

Question : How come?

Answer :
An English princess with
>
an Egyptian boyfriend
crashes in a French
tunnel, driving a
German car
with a Dutch engine,
driven by a Belgian
who was drunk
on Scottish whisky,

(check the bottle before you change the spelling),



followed closely by
Italian Paparazzi,
on Japanese motorcycles;
treated by an American doctor, using
Brazilian medicines.
This is sent to you by

a Pollock,
using Bill Gates's technology,
and you're probably reading this on your computer,
that uses Taiwanese
chips, and a
Korean monitor,
assembled by
Bangladeshi workers
in a Singapore plant,
transported by Indian
lorry-drivers,
hijacked by Indonesians,
unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,
and trucked to you by Mexican illegals...




That, my friends, is Globalization

Couples golf is so much fun!


A husband reluctantly agreed to play in the couples' alternate shot tournament at his club. He teed off on the first hole, a par four, and blistered a drive 300 yards down the middle of the fairway.

Upon reaching the ball, the husband said to his wife 'Just hit it toward the green, anywhere around there will be fine.' The wife proceeded to shank the ball deep into the woods. Undaunted, the husband said 'That's OK, Sweetheart' and spent the full five minutes looking for the ball. He found it just in time, but in a horrible position. He played the shot of his life to get the ball within two feet of the hole. He told his wife to knock the ball in. His wife then proceeded to knock the ball off the green and into a bunker.

Still maintaining composure, the husband summoned all of his skill and holed the shot from the bunker. He took the ball out of the hole and, while walking off the green, put his arm around his wife and calmly said, 'Honey, that was a bogey, and that's OK, but I think we can do better on the next hole.' To which she replied, 'Listen asshole, don't bitch at me, only 2 of those 5 shots were mine.'

Media bias?

A Biker's Story

A motorcyclist is riding by the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into
the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and
tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming
parents. The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion
square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion
jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified
parents, who thank him endlessly.

A reporter has seen the whole scene, and addressing the biker, says, "Sir,
this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life."

"Why, it was nothing, really; the lion was behind bars. I just saw this
little kid in da nger, and I acted as I felt right."

"Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed . I'm a journalist, you know,
and tomorrow's paper will have this on the first page. What motorcycle do
you ride?"

"A Harley Davidson.

The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings
news of his actions, and reads, on first page:

BIKER GANG MEMBER ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH

Cajuns aint dumb

Boudreaux left the bayou and moved to kansas where he bought him donkey
from

an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next

day.



The next day, the farmer drove up and said "I'm sorry, but I have some
bad
news, the donkey died last night."

"Well, den" said Boudreaux, "jus' give my money back, yeah."

"I can't do that Sir, I went and spent it already."

"OK, den. Jus' unload dat donkey."

"What are you gonna do with him"

"I'm gon to raffle him off."

"You can't raffle a dead donkey, you dumb Cajun!"

"Well dat where you wrong!! You wait an' you learn how smart we Cajuns
are!"

A month later the farmer ran into the Cajun and asked, "What happened
with
that dead donkey?"

"I raffled dat donkey off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and
made

$998."

"Didn't anyone complain?"

"Just dat guy who won.



So I gave him his two dollars back."