The Moment It Hit Me

It has been 8 months since it hit me. What hit me? Where I relocated to.I moved to Tucson 11 months ago and have never been able to find anything near where I live. ShopFromHomepage was created to provide merchants the opportunity to let us know where they are: the site is undergoing construction, so enjoy the entertainment for now!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Interesting comparison.



I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. What a beauty of
a bird feeder it is, as I filled it lovingly with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds
taking advantage of the
continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.
But then the birds started
building nests in the boards
of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.

Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table .. everywhere!

Then some of the birds
turned mean. They would
dive bomb me and try to
peck me even though I had
fed them out of my own
pocket.
And others birds were
boisterous and loud. They
sat on the feeder and
squawked and screamed at
all hours of the day and night
and demanded that I fill it
when it got low on food.
After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down
the many nests they had built
all over the patio.
Soon, the back yard was like it used to be.... quiet, serene and no one demanding their
rights to a free meal.
Now let's see.
Our government gives out
free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, and free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.
Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor;
your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak
English.
Corn Flakes now come in a
bilingual box; I have to
'press one' to hear my bank
talk to me in English, and
people waving flags other
than 'Old Glory' are
squawking and screaming
in the streets, demanding
more rights and free liberties.
Just my opinion, but maybe
it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder.
If you agree, pass it on; if not, continue cleaning up the poop!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Do you have what it takes to be a WalMart Greeter?


A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with her
two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and welcome to
Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'

The woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell, no, they ain't twins.
The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think
they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'

'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am,' replied the Greeter. ' I just
couldn't believe someone would sleep with you twice. Have a good day and
thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Encore Presentation of this letter from a Mother of a soldier

Letter from one 'Angry Woman'

I don't know who wrote it but they should have signed it. Some powerful words. This woman should run for president.

Written by a housewife from New Jersey and sounds like it! This is one ticked off lady.


'Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001?

Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan , across the Potomac from our nation's capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania ?


Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?


And I'm supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was 'desecrated' when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet?...Well, I don't. I don't care at all.


I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.

I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime in Saudi Arabia


I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for chopping off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.


I'll care when the cowardly so-called 'insurgents' in Iraq come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques.


I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide .


I'll care when the American media stops pretending that their First Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead of the United States Constitution's Bill of Rights.


In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don't care.


When I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners who have been humiliated in what amounts to a college-hazing incident, rest assured: I don't care.


When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank: I don't care..


When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed 'special' food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being 'mishandled,' you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts: I don't care.


And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled 'Koran' and other times 'Quran.' Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and-you guessed it-I don't care !!


If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your E-mail friends. Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behavior!


If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should you choose the latter, then please don't complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great Country! And may I add:


'Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem' -- Ronald Reagan


I have another quote that I would like to add AND.......I hope you forward all this.


'If we ever forget that we're One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under.' Also by.. Ronald Reagan


One last thought for the day:


In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the Anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember England 's Prime Minister Tony Blair's words during a recent interview. When asked by one of his Parliament members why he believes so much in America , he said: 'A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in.. And how many want out.'


Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you:

1. Jesus Christ

2. The American G. I.


One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO PASS THIS ON, AS MANY SEEM TO FORGET BOTH OF THEM.

AMEN!

Monday, August 11, 2008

This is why we love Texans ...

Texans get right to the point and most of the time, what they say is correct.

T. B. Bechtel, a part-time City Councilman from Midland, TX., was asked on a local live radio talk show, just what he thought of the allegations of torture of the Iraqi prisoners.

His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, but to thunderous applause from the audience.

"If hooking up an Iraqi prisoner's balls to a car's battery cables will save one Texas GI's life, then I have just three things to say:

Red is positive,

Black is negative,

Make sure his balls are wet."

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

The Pastor's Ass

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it
won.

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the
race
again, and it won again.


The local paper
read:


PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with
this kind of publicity that he ordered
the pastor not to enter the donkey in
another race.



The next day, the local paper headline
read:


BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the
bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of
the donkey.

The pastor
decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing
of the news, posted the following headline the
next day:


NUN HAS
BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted.

He informed the nun that she
would have to get rid of the donkey, so she
sold it to a farmer for
$10.



The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR
$10.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back
the
donkey and lead it to the ! plains where it could run
wild.


The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES
HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The bishop was buried the next
day.


The moral of the story is: being concerned about public opinion
can bring
you much grief and misery, even shorten your life.


So be
yourself and enjoy life.


Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and
you'll be a lot happier and
live longer!

Have a nice
day!

: Blond Joke



This one is funny!


A guy walks in and sits down at the end of the bar. Just a few seats down
from him, there is a very buxom blonde with huge size 44DD breasts.

The guy orders a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the
bar. It hits the lady's boobs and splashes all over them. The bartender goes
over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off the blonde.

Each time he calls for a beer this happens. So after his third beer, he
decides to help the bartender out. The next ti me the bartender hits her
boobs, the man jumps up and starts to lick her breasts....AND SHE DECKS
HIM!!!.

He's laying on the floor moaning and groaning, "Jeez...then why do you let
the bartender do it?"

Get ready...here it comes.........

5
4
3
2
1...



"Because, duh" says the blonde, "he has a licker license !"

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Subject: Will I Turn 80?

I recently turned 62 and had to choose a new primary care physician
for my Medicare program.
After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly
well' for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him
'Do you think I will live to be 80?'
He asked: Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?'

'Oh no,' I replied. 'I don't do drugs, either.'

'Do you have many friends and entertain frequently?'

'I said, 'No, I usually stay home and keep to myself'.

'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'

I said, 'No, my other doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy!'

'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing,
hiking, or bicycling?'

'No, I don't,' I said.

'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'

'No,' I said. 'I don't do any of those things.'

He looked at me and said, 'Then why do you give a shit?